The Naruto Shuffle
by JustCoffeeThanks
Summary: I sat my iPod on shuffle and started writing… Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

_**(I found a song meme on here a while back and liked the idea... So this is my interpretation of it.)**_

_**WARNING! Some chapters contain mentions of yaoi! Don't like? DON'T READ!**_

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

**1.) Halo; Beyonce— ****4:21**

Kurenai sensei walked her down the aisle.

She thought it was fitting.

It was a simple moment on the roof of the Hokage offices, overlooking the village, the great stone heads looking down with reverent eyes. Just the twelve of them, the sun setting golden and auburn on the horizon, a soft breeze blowing through the village, filling the summer air with the cool scent of leaves and earth.

Hinata wore her mother's wedding dress. A long flowing hybrid of billowing white sheer, and traditional red kimono.

Naruto was still bandaged, supported by Iruka because the blonde still had trouble standing in light of his wounds. Gauze was wrapped thickly around his chest, arms and head, those strange marks that had appeared on his body when the seal had broken and his will had proven strong enough to quench the ninetails' bloodlust, were hidden beneath black silk sleeves, the only ones visible the dark slash markings under each eye.

They would not fade, but Hinata didn't mind, they were prideful markings. Evidence that he had battled the devil… And won.

He watched her with a childlike expression of awe on his face. Eyes smiling and mischievous, while his face was calm and respectful.

Hinata took a moment while she was walking to look left and right at the people gathered to witness.

Sakura and Sai were standing near each other, although she could tell Sakura had put a 'friendly' distance between herself and Sai.

Neji was there, arm in a sling, trying to hide the smile that had crooked the corners of his lips.

Kakashi, leaning on his crutches, looking outwardly bored, picking at the bandaging over his ears, while his attention was riveted on the ceremony, eyes slightly misted over.

Shino was whispering into Kiba's ear, telling the blinded young man what was happening, and despite everything that had occurred, Kiba was smiling. Shikamaru was close by, still pale and hollow looking, but his eyes were regaining their half lidded keenness.

Only time would tell how their wounds would heal, but as Hinata stopped before Tsunade, who was smiling in a wizened proud way, she realized they were all taking the first step toward their uncertain future.

Naruto's bandaged fingers slipped into her own.

And Hinata knew, she was ready.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0


	2. Chapter 2

**_(I was laughing while I wrote this, so I'm sorry it's not as long as it should have been.)_**

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0**_  
_**

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

**2.) Yakety-Sax, aka. The Benny Hill Theme; Boots Randolph—****4:31**

"GET HIM!"

Minato had never run so fast in his life. And considering he was famed for running quickly, that was saying something.

He wasn't being chased by enemy. No… Other wise, he wouldn't have been so terrified.

Namikaze Minato, was being chased by an enraged eight-year-old and a pack of slobbering puppies through the sweltering summer streets of Konoha.

And it was worth it.

Oh, dear GODS how it was worth it!

Kakashi was dripping wet. Covered head to foot with water, pieces of burst water balloon stuck in his limp hair. Eyes livid, face flushed pink where you could see a wedge of it over his mask.

His dogs, all seven of them, were wet as well.

Needless to say, the jumbo sized water balloon Minato had fashioned had been put to good use. Dropping it from the tree he'd hid himself in during their training, right onto the young chuunin's head.

Kakashi had gasped, at first, body rigid… And then, like a feline—He'd screamed.

A high pitched, eight-year-old screech of doom.

His chakra had flared violently around him, little bolts of electricity spiking off his fingertips and knees against the puddle he found himself wading in.

And now, he was going to murder his sensei. Plain and simple. He was going to catch Minato, no matter how many times the man Flashed back and forth trying to evade him, and smear his face in the dirt…

Or blast him with his own water balloons…

Yes, that sounded much better. He liked his sensei on normal days… Days when training was reduced to stupid mind games or things like this, Kakashi harbored only anger and hatred toward the blonde blur of energy.

Besides, Minato-sensei looked like a drowned rat when he was wet…

Ah, yes… This was going to be fun.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0


	3. Chapter 3

**_(Really hard this one… Sorry it's so short.)_**

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

**3.) The Boy Who Destroyed the World; AFI- All Hallows EP— ****3:05**

It came out of the night like a blast of wind. A sudden wall of heat that wilted the leaves on the trees not yet tinted the vibrant colors of autumn.

Children, frightened by the eerie howl of the wind peeked their heads from their windows, parents pulled them back inside.

Dogs howled in the Inuzuka compound. Cats went mad, tearing at the furniture, screeching and clawing, attacking their owners without seeming cause, or leaping from windows into the streets to flee in herds down alleyways and deep into the forest never to be seen again.

The messenger hawks, shifted in agitation. Crying out into the night in rage and pain.

Aburame insects whirred and swarmed, alerting their hosts to the unease of the world. To the darkness creeping up on them all.

Visions of a huge, fiery maw, ringed with fangs as big as a man plagued her dreams and she woke in a sweat, hands on her protruding belly.

Beside her the blonde man stirred, blinking sleepily, his voice slurred; "Wha's it?"

Kushina shivered, eyes distant and seeing everything, but nothing at once.

"My water just broke…"

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0


	4. Chapter 4

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

**4.) Screamer; Good Charlotte— ****3:36**

Kakashi had never wanted to be Hokage.

And if you asked him while he was under the influence of just enough alcohol and self-hatred, he would tell you flat out that he'd never wanted to be a ninja either.

He hated himself often enough that he couldn't look in the mirror without wanting to smash his fist into it.

All he'd ever wanted was to be a human being. A man with a little house and a garden, a few dogs, and enough photographs of his friends and family that he no longer had space on the walls for more.

He'd always wanted to be able to walk down the street without his mask and not have people gaping at him, or staring with fluttering eyes and blushing cheeks.

Kakashi had just wanted to be ordinary…

Get married, have a kid he could carry on his shoulders during festivals and chuckle at gapped smiles with.

He'd craved being woken up at three in the morning to fetch down a glass from a high cabinet for a little boy or girl who had woken up thirsty.

He wanted to build snow men in the winter, lay in the grass and count fireflies. Wanted to grin downward while he shaved at a small little face lathered like his own, wielding a popsicle stick instead of a razor. Press bandages to scrubbed elbows and knees and kisses to little foreheads.

He was at heart a hopeless romantic…

And all he had to show for a lifetime of toils was a body patterned with scars, a plant that couldn't be killed, a group of talking nindogs who most of the time thought he was the scum of the earth, and a title that made him feel like all he could do was die in a horrible, painful and possibly futile way to protect his home and all those things he never got to have…

Life, he decided, had a funny way of warping your dreams.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0


	5. Chapter 5

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

**5.) Brown Eyed Girl; Everclear— ****4:20**

It came as quite a shock… Tsunade knocking on his door one rainy evening holding a bundle of soft pale blankets, her hazel eyes wide, a grin that looked more like a wince on her face pale…

He'd stared at her for a moment, then glanced down at the bundle with a disinterested gaze… Only to feel his eyes widening in complete and utter shock…

Tsunade was holding a baby.

A newborn with a thin, pale tuft of silver hair and a scrunched, pink face.

Tsunade cleared her throat to regain his attention, her eyes wide and alight with something close to fury.

"Kakashi."

He didn't make a sound or lift his gaze from the child.

Her left arm shot forward, and she punched him. Quite hard actually, right in the jaw. Then threw a long strip of condoms at his head. "The next time you feel the need to pick up girls in Suna… Use one of these, or I'll rip off your reason for needing them…"

As he climbed slowly back to his feet working his jaw, hand cupped over the throbbing spot. He spluttered his voice high pitched like a teenager in his panic. "W-what are you talking about! I haven't—Tsunade, I wouldn't do that—I _CAN'T_ !"

Tsunade nodded, remembering the terrible groin injury he'd suffered at twelve, after a rather vicious fight with Uchiha Obito, that had rendered him completely sterile… Or so they'd thought; "Well, her chakra doesn't lie." She thrust the infant forward into his arms. "So unless you've got an identical twin we don't know about, against all odds, you knocked up one Kuboshi Setsuko, Suna chuunin—"

And Kakashi's stomach twisted painfully, his right eye twitching. Shifting the newborn in his arms.

"I take it from your sudden pallor, that you know who I'm talking about?"

"It was Genma's fault… He spiked the punch at that Inter-Village party you threw and you know I can't hold my liquor…"

"So, it's Genma's fault you can't keep your pants on?"

"No, it's Genma's fault for dumping my unconscious ass into a room with a horny mednin necrophile so he can go screw around with her three teammates."

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0


	6. Chapter 6

**_(This one was hard, I kept spelling stuff wrong and had to fix it. That's why it's so short… BLAH! XP FAIL…)_**

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

**6.) Hate Me; Blue October— ****6:22**

It was raining.

The kind of rain you stayed indoors to escape from.

But it was this particular rain that Iruka found himself standing in, staring down at a block of stone in a field, his face twisted into a hollow expression of pain and regret. So much regret.

Why hadn't he said anything earlier? Why hadn't he taken him aside, wrapped his arms around the man and said; 'You're not alone.'

Three words. Three simple words that could have made all the difference in the world.

And now, now he would never know. He would never get the chance, or be allowed to get to know him. Never be able to say he was sorry for failing, yet again, to speak when the moment was right.

With a hitch of his breath, Iruka knelt and traced his finger over the man's name. Smiling bitterly, tears in his eyes.

He'd tried to get help. In that awkward condescending way of his. Like a child seeking attention by acting out.

It didn't seem fair, really. That the only way he'd seen to get away from it all was this… Running… And then throwing his arms wide, a smile on his face, eyes empty, a reckoning in flesh and bone…

Why hadn't he said something?

Why did the vision of him standing there tall, head thrown back, arms outstretched as if to embrace a loved one haunt Iruka like a ghost, or a phantom pain in a long healed wound.

Why did he feel like the man had been welcoming in death like a lover?

Maybe that was right, in some sick way. Death was more familiar to him than life ever had been… Maybe this was the only way he would ever have been free. Could have ever found rest.

A hand suddenly came against his shoulder, giving a gentle squeeze…

"You'll catch a cold out here like this, Iruka-sensei… Let me buy you a drink and we'll get you warmed up."

Glancing upward, Iruka blinked into the rain at the saturated man looming out of the darkness at him. Hair long and stringy, smile somehow sympathizing.

Patting the wet fingers on his shoulder affectionately, Iruka nodded and rose to his feet, turning and following his shadow from the field.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

_(( I'd love to know who you think it is… The one who died and the one who buys the drinks.))_

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0


	7. Chapter 7

**_((I cheated on this one because the visual I had just BEGGED to be completed.))_**

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

**7.) If You Wanna Be My Lover; The Spice Girls— ****2:54**

She was just three years old, but Kakashi hated her.

Hated how Obito doted on her, how all he could talk about was ' Mieko' this and 'Mieko' that…

He didn't want to say he was jealous of her. Dear God, why would he be jealous of Uchiha Obito's baby sister?

Maybe it was the pride he openly displayed. The confidence boost that just made Kakashi cringe and want to kick him in the crotch… Maybe it was that smile on the boy's face when he spoke of her. His eyes all aglow, droning on and on and on about how much of a blessing she was. How surprised his parents had been, and how happy he was to finally be a big brother. What an honor it was… And how he would use his bare hands to break the neck of any asshole who tried to hurt her.

Kakashi rolled his eyes every time Obito started in on one of his jubilant tirades, feeling his stomach boil unpleasantly.

Life was just SO perfect for Obito sometimes and Kakashi hated it.

That was until he was sent by Sensei to go and check on Obito one evening when the boy decided that his usual lateness for training wasn't good enough, and had simply just NOT shown up at all.

Kakashi didn't bother banging on the door, he knew Obito's parents weren't home, out on missions, so he simply walked right up and poked his head in the open kitchen window.

The house looked deserted, save for the pile of dishes on the table and in the sink, and the scattering of baby toys in the living room floor.

From upstairs he could hear shrill childish laughter and with a groan, climbed through the window and stalked upstairs, prepared to thump some sense into Obito's head…

But, when he poked his head into the boy's bedroom, he saw something that froze him on the spot.

Mieko was sitting on the floor before her brother's bed wearing a fluffy sequin covered cocktail dress that was much too large for her, lipstick and blush thick and clownish on her face, black hair in twin pigtails.

Shoes and clothes were scattered across the floor willy-nilly and music was playing. Then the closet doors burst open—

And there he was.

Large round sunglasses on his face. Hair spiked up in every direction and held flat in places with bows and clips, wearing a net shirt, his father's winter boots, and a tutu that flounced up showing off his boxers every time he jumped around, singing loudly along with the music, a hairbrush held up to his lips like a microphone.

Mieko laughed loudly, clapping and cheering as he pranced around shaking his hips.

It wasn't until he'd done a spin and spotted Kakashi standing there in the doorway gaping at him that he seemed even slightly self conscious.

The next second Kakashi was flat on his back in the hallway, Obito straddling his chest holding him up by the front of his shirt, teeth gritted fiercely.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!"

Kakashi couldn't help it. He started laughing—Loudly.

Obito hit him twice, and they rolled fists flying, a blur of tulle sequins and gritted teeth.

"DON'T LAUGH AT ME YOU BASTARD!"

Obito pinned him again, Kakashi still laughing wickedly. "W-why are you w-wearing a d-d-dress!"

"I'm baby sitting my sister while my parents are away! You got a problem with that!"

Kakashi shook his head, pried his eyes open, and started laughing again. Not commenting on the fact that Obito hadn't said anything as to WHY he was dressed up like that.

After that day, Kakashi kind of liked Obito's baby sister…

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0


	8. Chapter 8

**_(Kind of cheated. I added 20 words.)_**

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

**8.) Let Her Go; Less Than Jake— ****2:23**

Naruto ran. His heart thundering in his chest, arms pumping at his sides.

The streets of Konoha hadn't seen such a display of speed and agility since the days of Minato. But the night remained undisturbed. The festival slowly emptying. Stalls closing, patrons retreating to their homes for the night…

Some saw the blonde rushing past, eyes widening as he shot by, but smiling when they recognized the look on his face.

Trees rustled in the breeze, leaves whispering, fireflies blinking in the twilight.

The lights and sounds of cheer faded as he ran. Easing into the residential areas of Konoha, counting aloud as he ran past each house, each gate until, skidding as he almost ran past it, he fell onto his behind, crab walked backward, was on his feet and banging helplessly on the door, a pained look on his face.

Six knocks later the door opened and his fist kept bouncing on air, even as he fell forward, eyes widening. He stumbled into the foyer, the girl stumbling backward, her face reddened, eyes wide in rigid shock as hands came up, cupping against her cheeks and his mouth, which still tasted vaguely of ramen and wine, pressed against hers.

For a moment Hinata was tense, her mind whirring, but then she realize.

_This is really happening… He's really here…_

And she threw her arms around his neck, her eyes squeezed tightly shut, praying quickly; _'Don't faint, don't faint!'_

He drew back, breath coming quickly, thumbs stroking her flushed cheeks, eyes heavily lidded. "Wanna go to the movies Friday?"

She didn't open her eyes, but her head nodded quickly; "Y-yeah… Sure."

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0


	9. Chapter 9

**_(I ended this one early because I just liked it better that way.)_**

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

**9.) I Am a Rock; Simon & Garfunkle— ****2:51**

It was cold, cloudy and Iruka was walking back from the academy. Smiling and waving when someone would call to him.

In his apartment he made tea, cooked some rice and vegetables, and sat down beside his window to grade the days assignments. He smiled contentedly to himself, watching the village from the frosted panes as it moved sluggishly in the chill of winter.

The sun slowly sank behind its blanket of cloud cover. Making everything glow a deceptively warm shade of pink…

Genma came by at seven, knocked and asked if Iruka wanted to go out and have drinks.

Iruka refused, said he had an early shift at the mission desk the next morning and he needed his rest.

Genma sighed, his face twisting into a concerned scowl; "All you do is sit up here and hide, Iruka, you need to get out, meet some people. It's been three years… You need to move on."

Iruka just chuckled warmly; "I don't know what you're talking about. Seriously, Genma, I have an early shift and I need my rest."

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0


	10. Chapter 10

_**(Cheated just a little...**shifty eyes**)**_

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

**10.) No One; Alecia Keys— ****4:13**

Iruka had never expected this would be how he'd come out of the closet. Shuffling across the Village Hall's dance floor, barefoot, in his pajamas, arms around his lover's waist, head pressed under his chin.

Smiling.

He never thought he'd live to see this day. Especially considering what had, the day before, been common practice in the village of Konoha.

He'd expected some violent exchange, pain, humiliation and possibly inhumane death by hate crime.

Not this.

It had started as a simple thing. Tsunade had decided morale was low, and said that after the Summer Council Session closed, she was going to schedule a party. And Genma had cheered loudly proclaiming he was bringing the booze and porn, Tsunade had amended this and said a 'Village Social' would be held. Village Socials did not involve alcohol, and would be less likely to anger the Council in their last days of drafting, meetings, voting, ratifying, denying, and legal decision making.

Iruka had shown the flyer to Kakashi when he got it. "It could be fun… I could go with Anko so nobody is suspicious."

Kakashi had sighed, and shaken his head. "I've got guard duty at the Council Chambers with Raidou, Kurenai and Gai that night… You can go if you want though, you deserve to have some fun."

Their relationship was a secret for many reasons.

One, some civilians didn't take too kindly to homosexual academy teachers, and strove to humiliate and degrade them at all costs.

Two, some nin didn't take too kindly to homosexual team leaders, and made it a point to make said team leader's life a living hell.

Three, Kakashi was still discovering his sexuality, shocking seeing as how the man read pornography 20 hours a day. But, as it turned out, reading about it, and actually DOING it were two completely different things.

But, Fourth and foremost… Homosexuals simply weren't accepted, and had no rights. The laws of Konoha, despite their archaic nature, stated quite clearly, that two or more men, and two or more women were not permitted to partake in 'carnal knowledge' of each other 'under pain of demotion, public flogging, and banishment.'

Konoha had been founded under a completely different set of morals than was widely accepted today.

These laws, as well as the laws on premarital sex, which gave the female's father the right to castrate her lover, and stone her to death, were terribly barbaric considering how far the world had progressed.

Iruka had given a last, mournful look at the flyer, sighed and nodded. "It's no fun if you're not there…"

He hadn't thought about it again… Until he'd found himself hastily roused from a deep, exhausted sleep late Friday night, long after the 'Village Social' had ended.

Kakashi stood over Iruka's bed, his eyes wide and bright, mask pulled down to his chin, smiling; "The Council broke a few minutes ago, Ru!"

Iruka blinked at him stupidly. _Broke? Broke what?_

Kakashi promptly pulled his lover out of bed, not giving him time enough to even pull on his slippers and teleported them right into the middle of the cheering crowd. Genma dancing past passing out bottles and red plastic cups, dressed only in his underwear, obscene pictures drawn all over him in glowing paint, hair in ponytails.

Iruka felt his eyes widen, his face gone horribly pale.

Didn't Kakashi realize where they were? Didn't he know that they could be seen!

And then he saw it.

Kotetsu and Izumo standing on a table, in hastily dawned uniforms, arms wrapped tightly around one another, fingers clutching, mouths working passionately.

Behind them, Raidou was standing, Anko perched on his shoulders, a beer bottle in one hand, a large permanent marker in the other, as she blacked out lines of small script on a copy of the Konohagakure no sato Ordinances and Regulations.

Everywhere around them people were cheering, letting of small aesthetic jutsu, flashes of bright rainbow colored sparkles. Flower petals, confetti, and even a few miniature exploding tags popping and crackling in the gymnasium.

Gai leapt out of the crowd, posing dramatically like Adonis, teeth flashing, then proceeded to perform an elaborate interpretive dance, that incorporated his entire, horrifically flexible body, a broom, and what had obviously been one beer too many.

Music, laughter, happiness… _Freedom._

And somewhere, above the noise, somebody was sitting at the old brown upright piano in the corner, a soft lilting tune barely audible over the joyous chaos.

Kakashi pulled him close and smiled into his hair. "You were right… This is more fun with you here."

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0


End file.
